


Recorded interview

by LupaDracolis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 07:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3760516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LupaDracolis/pseuds/LupaDracolis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="dave">STRIDER, DAVE: Right, right. So as I say, popular show popular people, lots of folk knew we were coming here and that includes the, you know, the paps, as it always does. Well I’ve got an apartment in town, so I’ve been staying there while we film for the, the new movie I’m meant to be here promoting that I’m not sure I’ve even talked about yet. New SBaHJ movie you guys.</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="black">AUDIENCE: [cheer, except for one loud boo]</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="dave">STRIDER, DAVE: Yeah well sucks to be you to that one individual.</span>
  <br/>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recorded interview

HOST: Now Dave, will you tell us about how you and Ms Lalonde - who’ll be joining us in the studio later, there she is ladies and gents-  
AUDIENCE: [cheering]  
STRIDER, DAVE: Aw, that’s more cheers than I got coming in here!  
AUDIENCE: [laughter]  
STRIDER, DAVE: No you’re right, you’re right, she probably deserves it.  
HOST: -anyway, Dave, will you tell us a bit about how the two of you got here? Because as I understand it you made a bit of a stir.  
STRIDER, DAVE: [laughter] Yeah you could say that. Okay, so, thing is, this is a pretty popular show right? People know Rose an’ I were coming here, we’re pretty popular people.  
AUDIENCE: [one person woops]  
STRIDER, DAVE: Thank you sir, or was that for Rose again? [laughter]  
HOST: But about your arrival?  
STRIDER, DAVE: Right, right. So as I say, popular show popular people, lots of folk knew we were coming here and that includes the, you know, the paps, as it always does. Well I’ve got an apartment in town, so I’ve been staying there while we film for the, the new movie I’m meant to be here promoting that I’m not sure I’ve even talked about yet. New SBaHJ movie you guys.  
AUDIENCE: [cheer, except for one loud boo]  
STRIDER, DAVE: Yeah well sucks to be you to that one individual.  
HOST: Dave, please you’re killing me here.  
STRIDER, DAVE: Right ok yeah so I’m coming out of my apartment, okay, heading to Rose’s hotel in the car, but someone’s obviously leaked where she’s staying somehow or like, one of the staff worked it out and blabbed, I keep telling her she should sign in under a fake name but apparently that’s borderline illegal or you know, whatever. So there’s like all these paps crowded around the outside of the hotel cameras in hand there ain’t no easy way to get through them without getting mobbed yeah?  
HOST: Right.  
STRIDER, DAVE: So what I do is I grab the stilts I’ve got stashed in the back of the car for just such this purpose-  
AUDIENCE: [laughter]  
STRIDER, DAVE: No no I’m being serious I swear. These stilts they’re not like great big clown ones just three feet long or so they can fit easy in a car. Anyway I get mine on and open the door, crowd doesn’t even notice me at first because they’re all watching the hotel for Rose to get out, I have to actually tap a few dudes on the head before they actually notice me.  
HOST: Why’d you want them to pay attention to you?  
STRIDER, DAVE: Well it’s like, I don’t want to just start shoving people out of my way y’know? Get a bad reputation and shit.  
HOST: Right, yeah.  
STRIDER, DAVE: Annnnyway people start noticing me pretty quick because I mean I’m like what three foot higher than usual and carrying a pair of - I think I forgot to say that earlier, there were two pairs of stilts and I only put one pair on - so I’m striding- [laughter] -walking through these paps, and you know there were probably some actual fans mixed in there too I think I saw at least one person in a robe but it might have been a bathrobe rather than like a wizardly one it’s not what my main focus was on here. So, wading through the crowd, I get to the front of the hotel. Rose comes out - I guess someone must have told her I’d arrived? Or she was watching the paps from the, from inside, like a cat watching a load of dogs desperate to get at it from through the window, I bet that’s what it was huh, Lalonde? Anyway Rose comes out, I pass her her stilts - we’d been practicing on them by the way that’s, it’s not like we’re both just naturally talented at circus skills or something. That’d be weird.  
AUDIENCE: [laughter]  
STRIDER, DAVE: Anyway the thing you don’t like, necessarily realise when you’re practicing on stilts and the only other person in the room is also practicing on stilts of the same height is, like, your crotch is kinda at face height? And wow that made it so much easier to get back through the crowd now that they were facing us? For some reason they didn’t wanna, you know, get a face load of the goods. So yeah that got us back to the car, then it’s stilts off and on over to here to find, whoa surprise, more frigging paparazzi. Stilts back on, wade through the crowd, and into the building, and here we are.  
HOST: So you had, you’d been planning that together?  
STRIDER, DAVE: Oh dude, for ages.  
HOST: Well maybe you can give us a little demonstration of your skills…  
STRIDER, DAVE: [laughter] Oh dude nice stilts, those are way fancier than mine look at them. Yeah I’ll totally give you a show of me wobbling around on top of those things, but d’you mind if I do a shout out first?  
HOST: Oh, one of your famous shout outs to your brother?  
STRIDER, DAVE: To my lil bro, yeah.  
HOST: Your little bro who multiple media sources have proved doesn’t exist, or if he does, you have no way of knowing about him, because you were brought into the foster care system as a baby?  
STRIDER, DAVE: Yeah that’s the one.  
HOST: Well I don’t see why not!  
STRIDER, DAVE: Alright sweet. Yo bro, hey how’re you doing? 

[pause]

“I’m good.”

[play]

STRIDER, DAVE: I hope everything’s working good for you and stuff, and hey- you’re brushing your teeth right? You don’t want those things to fall out when they ain’t meant to.

[pause]

“I’m brushing them, bro.”

[play]

STRIDER, DAVE: Yeah you better. Okay, ok done thanks, thanks for letting me do that.

[clip ended]  
…  
[play again y/n]  
…  
[y]

HOST: Now Dave, will you tell us about how you and Ms Lalonde - who’ll be joining us in the studio later, there she is ladies and gents-  
AUDIENCE: [cheering]  
STRIDER, DAVE: Aw, that’s mor

[stop]


End file.
